Love letter to you for all the realms of our current existence together.

I don’t know if you will ever receive this message, but it will float around in CyberSpace until it finds signal. It is my hope that it does.

You tried to call…I saw you blocked the number

I’m sorry but you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone that will allow you to be you and be part of that process of you becoming the best version of yourself along your journey

I want you to be happy. I want us to both be happy. Yes there are compromises but those compromises shouldn’t be detrimental to the core of who you are as an individual.

I’m sorry for hurting you. We are both hurt 😞 There will be good and bad times, but when the tough times happen more often than the good times, regardless of how fulfilling and meaningful those interactions are, if the negativity starts to flow in and constantly take away from it, things can go very sour

And it can ruin something beautiful

I’ve had the best times of my life with you, even memories I still carry with me from back in the D and reflect on fondly. Not being able to contact or see you, leaves a painful hole.

My biggest fear was that if we continue this journey together that things continue to get worse, and all those positive memories and experiences of us get tainted and buried deep in the conscious that you never want to revisit them again. To me, this would be a waste of time (our most precious commodity).

I never want to look back on our times together like that, because those life forces we shared (our memories and experiences) are too valauable to me

If we are happy, we must look not at only what we say but what we do. They must both correlate.

I don’t expect a reply and I don’t want a reply because I know you probably hate me in this moment. I don’t want a cold response because my heart, soul and body won’t be able to take it.

I just hope that you know, whatever decisions or things I’ve done for us has always been part of a thought process that entails “You, Me and Us”. Sometimes we need to look at what Life is and accept that it’s not linear.

That deciding to plant a vine, growing that vine, allowing it to flourish, trim it when it needs be trimmed, removing the weed and pests…all those processes of sacrifice, patience and wisdom contributes to that vine reaching its full potential,

We must be thankful for every step, regardless of how difficult it is

I love you, I can never feel any other way about you and I don’t want to feel any other way about you

My signal for you and us have always been strong. So strong that my being doesn’t know how to handle it and as a result it’s volatile and any “signal disturbance” can cause emotional chaos. I don’t want to justify any wrong behaviours. I’m just trying to remove the abstractions to reveal the truth so that we can have more empathy towards our current predicament.

I want you to be happy. I love and respect you and us enough to know that one of the hardest things in life is to love someone and realise that for that person to be happy and fulfilled , you are part of the process but not a defining factor 😞

“You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out)

You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)” exile, T.S💔

I just want you to be happy, and I don’t think I make you happy and because of that, it’s eating away at everything we’ve done, been and planned to become

No one is to blame, lots of different factors contributed to where we are at this point in time.

I hope you can forgive me and not carry any hate in your heart towards me.

I don’t know if you will ever receive this message, but it will float around in CyberSpace until it finds signal. It is my hope that it does.

Forever a piece of me, Forever a piece of you

No matter where we are, those beautiful broken pieces of relationship bliss we shared will and should always exist…my biggest hope is in our hearts, mind, bodies and soul.

I never want those precious pieces to be broken into further pieces (because of Life’s harshness) to such an extent it become dust, that is thrown to the sky or seas and never grasped by our consciousness or imagination again.

It is in my social novice opinion that to see the realness & value of a relationship, assess the points of the emotional spectrum that connections allows you to experience.

A real valuable connection to someone in life has the ability to let you experience emotional euphoria and bliss but also the very pit that forces you to question your existence.

It is a very powerful force.

It must be respected and to be willing to share that force with someone, there must be trust and in that trust you will have stability knowing that despite that force having the potential to destroy you, the powers that wield it, will never let you get to that low point.

I will always value my connection to you. I want to protect it. I never want it to die. That connection always stays with you…maybe not in the meatspace or cyberspace but always in the mindspace.

I know you don’t like those terms, but it’s just my coping mechanism for dealing with life at the moment.

I don’t know if you will ever receive this message, but it will float around in CyberSpace until it finds signal. It is my hope that it does.