Breaking news:

I now identify as a Gold Medalist in every event of the Olympic Games for the next 10,000 years

I shall receive Gold medals in every event without the need to Qualify

The IOC has agreed to run competitions but deem me as the winner as I have been the first to identify as Gold Medalist in every event

My Pro nouns shall be:

Champ

Numero Uno

And my favourite: GOLDIE 🐻

Please respect me choices as I am now the Olympic Gold Medalist in everything forever

And…. I could probably get away with this HAHAHAHA