So... what you are all telling me... is that self-custody lightning is sometimes basically impossible to use? And that on-chain transactions are faster, but they're so expensive that they hardly ever make sense?
😭
Discussion
Not exactly. I’m saying that self-custodial ln is not for the faint of heart. Many (or all) get burned at some point. Custodial for 50$ worth of zaps is fine.
On-chain is quite affordable these days 
What does that mean in actual fees? 😅 This is all like Greek to me.
Less than 5 sats/vb is dirt cheap. If your utxos are properly consolidated you won’t pay much to send one (utxo)
It’s basically the size of your transaction in vb x fee rate. How I understand it is that the less inputs and outputs there are, the smaller the size will be. Less utxos in a transactions makes it less expensive.
A smaller fee rate, obviously makes it less expensive as well (<5 sats/vb in this case)
Depending on which transaction coordinator you use, you can see the size of the transaction and an estimated fee before sending