I believe first it is critical to honor their wishes. And to do that you must know them (the person and the wish). And you should be as clear as possible before they are no longer able to communicate well.
Just walked through this with my now passed mother.
I think most of us do not want life at all costs. But it important to me to honor the will of my elders. I will not choose for them until i have to, and then as their truted proxy as much as i can.
I generally agree to this, but as a Christian, I'm starting to wonder at what point this is behavior that I should no longer support.
There's a reason why so many old people are killing themselves, after all. It's become increasingly difficult to die of natural causes because of the medical interventions.
And at what point have you exchanged so many of your parts and fluids, that you aren't the same person, anymore, but rather a sort of biological robot?
You know... when brain transplant?
I also work in healthcare. There are legal documentd that can seriously help here as well. Living will, DNR, advance directive, and medical POA for example.
As a fellow Christian i also find this topic important. All heathcare, but especially end of life care is aiming limited resouces (all the docs, nurses, meds, proceedures, beds etc) at an infinate problem... death.
At some point we MUST cease trying to preserve life at all costs. But technology continues to extend that ultimate limit.
"Just because we can" is a terrible and sometimes hellish driver.
Yeah. I'm the sextant, so I serve at a lot of funerals and speak regularly to a lot of senior citizens, so I'm also kind of on "the front lines", on this topic.
I'm personally relieved that the older people in my own family are all Catholic and "societally backward" enough that they set a good example for us on "unreasonable healthcare" decisions.
Other families, it turns into a circus, sometimes.
