I dated someone long distance for almost 4 years. He had told me in the beginning that he'd seen people dating for years before marriage and that's what he wanted. We'd already known each other for a few years, and he would bring up marriage at times, but not in any urgent sense.

After about 3 years, he mentioned how someone he might consider having as an officially only married people who had gone through a certain course first.

He initiated talking about it and saying he'd get the course if I got my own work book... I did and the he felt pressure and didn't seem that interested anymore. He did buy the course and we did one lesson, and then I eventually got him to do one more, at which I realized he wasn't doing it correctly, and was blaming me for certain things that were supposed to be about him.

The reason I didn't break up with him was because he was my precious best friend, and I didn't have anyone I vibed with around me.

In 2020 he suggested maybe breaking up but I was about to leave for work so I asked if we could hold off on making it FB official, but his response was, Yeah I guess we can try again (referring to me changing even though he was the one with issues and I had no intention of indulging him anymore.)

After getting more local friends and spending a ton of time with Jesus, a few months later he brought it up again and I accepted on the spot.

After that I focused all my energy on fixing what had caused me to be stuck in such a toxic relationship, and met my husband about 6 months later and married him 68 days after our first date.

I had no intention of being a girlfriend anymore, I was ready to be a wife and my husband was ready to make me one. Best decision ever, and best man for me ever! Also, I was only his girlfriend for 6 days before he upgraded me to fiance 😎

I much encourage the 2nd type of dating that's super intentional than the casual uncertain kind!