all right, i think i have a good combination of relays now. found a few active accounts with followers and added every relay that at least two of them were using, which turned out to be these 12 relays:

wss://eden.nostr.land

wss://relay.damus.io

wss://nostr.wine

wss://relay.current.fyi

wss://brb.io

wss://relay.snort.social

wss://relay.nostr.band

wss://nostr.milou.lol

wss://relay.orangepill.dev

wss://relay.nostrich.land

wss://nos.lol

wss://relay.nostrplebs.com