A possible solution is to also run your own relay. I run an old optiplex running umbrel that has a nostr relay on it. Its not the most customizable but its very easy and cheap to set up
Discussion
Yep, I am definitely planning on doing this when I get some time. Might go with umbrel, might go with start9's, because they have some other stuff I want to play around with too, but that will me more of a project.