Why so much memory?

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did u make swapfile ? just in case

No swap.

6gb out 8gb use is fine so long remains FIXED at that - may try add 4GB or 8GB swapfile in HDD to offload a bit of RAM as an option - this will not solve anything if the leak issue

Don't seems so bad

It was only using 30% of 8 GB for a week or so and then suddenly today it got very memory hungry.

Is this shot from wss://nostr.libertas primordium.com? If you have a free relay maybe the issue is caused from some other stuf. Like bot or spam.

In my relay dozens of bot requests every day.

Check the access log.