I only have private channels too. I've never routed. But I have seen 3-4 sat fees on 21 sats coming out of places like cashu mints, phoenix, and coinos. Phoenix might be price gouging me because I can only connect to their node out of the app.
It might be an accumulated fee.
I can imagine they do something similar to this:
https://phoenix.acinq.co/server/auto-liquidity#fees
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