Male labor is a commodity, and prices are set based on how it is ultimately valued by females. I think we're mostly on the same page here.

Are men harder to steal? I think as you are pointing out, there is little value in stealing them, at least not enough to justify the perceived additional effort. If a man (of average value) is stolen, there will likely be a minimal effort to retrieve him. If a woman is stolen, the world comes unglued. Makes the days after the stealing that much more difficult to keep them stolen.