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I agree. The challenge is a lot of folks aren't all that reflective and tend to ignore the feedback they need. If a person tends to self-censor too much, they need counsel to speak up more, even if it may offend. If a person tends to speak too much, they need counsel to shut up and listen more. If a person tends to speak too obliquely, then need counsel to speak plainly. If a person tends to speak harshly, they need counsel to speak kindly.

Mostly we all need more practice, reflection, and feedback from people who care about us.

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago 💬 2

I just noticed your name. Are you an actual Quaker? I've been wanting to visit a meeting, or whatever its called (not denigrating, just not sure I'm remembering it right). Quakers seem to be the most conscientious, just from what I've read online, and I think that's the key.

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TheFreeQuaker 1y ago

Yep, I'm an actual Quaker. I agree conscientiousness is a hallmark of Quakers, online and IRL, but it needs to be continuously worked at . I'm a member of an unprogrammed meeting. Quakerism split a couple times in the 1800s, some folks went along more mainstream evangelical lines, others didn't (the liberal, unprogrammed). So we don't have a minister-- or put another way, everyone is a minister. It's interesting to see how things get done when no one's in charge.

My meeting says "meeting" or "meeting house", not church. But I've never met anyone who got sensitive over the term. When I'm talking with folks who aren't familiar with Quakerism, I say "church."

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

We're all members of the same church in spirit. I think there's some balance that I need to find between structured liturgy and anarchic fellowship, because I like both.