Welcome to NOSTR! Looking forward to more of your posts.

I have a zillion kids myself, but I keep all that private.

NOSTR is freedom of speech, but it is not privacy by any means. You have no way of knowing what relay owners are doing with your data.

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Discussion

What data is collected when you use nostr? Posts and messages would be stored. What about search queries, follow lists, etc?

It depends on what each relay wants to do. You have no control over any relays other than your own.