>ETH has on-chain "self-executing contracts", which was revolutionary when it came out, but its supply is controlled by a privately owned corporation, so thats a hard no from me.

I don't know why you would make something up like this. the founders and the ethereum foundation combined own less than half a percent of the circulating supply. ETH ownership is more distributed than bitcoin's hashrate. the supply is controlled by two factors: ETH is created through staking rewards, and it is destroyed when transaction fees are burned. when network usage is high enough it becomes deflationary.

vitalik doesn't have a big red button on his desk that can print ETH out of thin air. the behavior of the supply is controlled by network consensus and market participation. it's not nearly as cartoonish as you suggested.

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Rhetorical exaggeration, its true, but control is less about stakes and more about code and politics. ETH bothers me there, so I don't own any.

But I love Solidity. A pity none of the competition have gained much traction.

maybe rootstock can become upgraded from a semi-permissioned sidechain to a ZK rollup, and you can have the EVM without ETH. but it would most likely require bitcoin to have at least one soft fork. I wouldn't hold your breath.