yes. yes it is too much to ask. it's too much to ask to make someone else miserable.
you're a dude. your job is to provide, protect, preside
if you're fat and lazy without an ounce of self control, you'll just make yourself more miserable by getting a girl involved
so fix yourself fatty
stop eating crap (your profile betrayed you)
stop watching porn
stop giving advice
walk 5 miles (nonstop) per day
do 20 pushups per day
heavy lifting 3x per week goal is to benchpress your bodyweight and deadlift 2x bodyweight
start running once you're close to a healthy BMI
swim if you can
read a book published before 1900, one book per month
no screens 2 hr before bed. NONE
same bedtime every night
same wakeup time every morning
8 hr in bed per night
if you can't sleep, get out of bed and read a boring book until you are tired
if your thoughts are too loud, listen to rain falling/brown noise/deep tones (but quiet)
alarm in a different room next to a cup of water with elecrolytes already mixed
cold shower 3 minutes timed if you wamt to prove you're not a pussy
also weigh yourself daily, same time, naked, after voiding, before eating
also record your miles walked and weights lifted
if you need more tips i've got your back π€π»