Yeah but you have us.
Discussion
Ok. I'll fly you out to The Far East, buy you a pint or 10 and you can be my electronics man and sats transferer, on the fly😬😎.
If you're willing to take on the learning curve of a signing device like a Jade, you probably are smart enough to plug some electronic components together and flash an SD, and if you have access to bitcoin nerds, there's like a gajillion of us online that are willing to help.