That's the Irish in me brother we talk with our own lingo just like yours do in America you know I was meant to go in nov 2019 tickets book had 12 months travellers visa, money saved had bed and bored in Iowa but two months before I was to fly out I got Hopkins lymphoma I beat it but now I think was it a sign not to go with everything that happened jan6th the world works in mysterious ways brother. I got the all clear from the cancer and all I wanted to do is fulfill my dream and go stateside but things have gotten rough over there it's shocking to say maybe the illness was a sign for me not to go I split with my girlfriend a month before I got diagnosed cause I was going states for 12 months I was hoping longer so we called it a day now she's with best friend my childhood friend and it hurts like the dickens but it's better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all our town is only 20 thousand or so, so we have run ins and there not pleasent she wished me dead when I had cancer sad someone you loved and cherished could turn on ya like that I've been single now going on 4 year theres times I'm lonely but one is the never truly alone once one is with himself.