Different clients do it differently, which makes it a bit confusing.

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Yes, switching between clients is confusing. I'm trying to wrap my head around this too. #[2]

Think of it ALMOST like web browsers. Different ones may show a page differently or have different features but you can get to that website just the same on the Internet.

Nostr clients = Web Browsers

Nostr relays = The Internet

Also keep in mind analogies aren’t perfect and this is just a high level model to start with in thinking about how this all works.

Well, the Internet is much more than the world wide web ;) and web browsers mostly only browse web, but yes, I agree.

Yeah I could have cleaned that up and said the web vs general Internet!

I got it. Some clients dont show relays that connected to. Messages show differently in clients. How can I find which relays hav that messages