From messingwithtelemarketers.com

Messing with Telemarketers: Lights, Scammers, Action!

*Ring*

ME: Hello?

THEM: Hello, sir! This is James Cameron with the U.S. Government Grants Department. How are you doing today?

ME: I’m… wait… Did you say you were James Cameron?

THEM: Yes, sir. My name is James Cameron with the U.S. Government Grants Department.

ME: Wow… You aren’t even really trying are you?

THEM: Excuse me, sir?

ME: Nothing. I’m doing “Avatar”-ingly well today. How about yourself?

THEM: Very good, sir. Very good. I am calling today because you have been selected for a grant for $9,600.

ME: That is a “Titanic” grant, Mr. Cameron! How was I selected to be pulled from “The Abyss” to be selected for this!

THEM: You are probably wondering why you have been selected for this grant, yes? You see, the government randomly selects certain people who are upstanding citizens, who have paid their taxes, and do not have criminal records. This is you correct?

ME: I have never told anyone about the “Aliens” and I am not a “Terminator,” so I guess I qualify.

THEM: What? I do not understand.

ME: It probably means that John Conner and I don’t believe this is real, but do believe in Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

THEM: This is very real, sir! What makes you call me a scam?

ME: You are expecting me to accept the “True Lies”?

THEM: Sir, if you do not want the grant that is fine! No one is forcing you to take it!

ME: Can I exchange it for a good way to get “Xenogensis” into one of these sentences in a way that makes sense? I can’t think of any…

THEM: …

*Click*

#grownostr