>be me

>already delayed two hours

>painfully aware that I will be waiting another hour to deplane if I don't secure a place in line

>get up and enter the aisle within one second of being cleared to do so

>path towards front of airplane

>"woah, after you, bro"

>"kill yourself." (same loudness as previous individual)

>some time later, hear multiple people bitch and moan "and he just started yelling at everyone"

>turn around

>"friend, why have you not killed yourself yet?"