GM 🌻
After a morning walk with my dog and a dark roast coffee in hand, I had a thought experiment with GPT: What if digital platforms were parts of one massive city?
Here’s how I mapped it:
The Metropolis
X is the chaotic downtown core.
Political rallies, meme graffiti, street fights, breaking news. The skyline is sharp, and the rent is emotional. Everyone complains about it, but nobody leaves.
Threads is the new high-rise next door.
Clean, polished, friendly security. It lacks X’s grit and engagement, but the amenities are nice. Shiny. Half empty.
LinkedIn, the financial district. Full of glass buildings, TED Talk posters, and people pretending they just got promoted. Fake humblebrags echo through the streets.
The Suburbs
BlueSky, the gentrified art district. Indie bookstores, fair-trade coffee, and lots of moderation policies that read like queer haikus.
Mastodon, the academic co-op zone. Thoughtfully designed, structurally complex. Feels like the college town where professors and journalists retire.
Instagram is the designer condo living. White walls, ring lights, sunset balconies. Everyone’s trying to impress the neighbors, and themselves through materialistic means. Looks perfect, but feels highly curated.
Reddit is a chaotic college town made of basements, labs, and meme temples. Every neighborhood has its own rules and culture. The smart, weird, and salty midwits thrive there.
Pinterest is the dreamland suburb. Gorgeous, serene, oddly vacant. Every house is a vision board. No one's actually home.
Gated Community
Truth Social, the red-hat golf resort. HOA only accepts MAGA flags and opinions. There’s a fake CNN studio in the clubhouse and a Trump statue on the roundabout.
Gab is the outlaw enclave with the biker bar that never closes. Every house flies 14 flags.
The Entertainment District
TikTok, the neon fairground. Roller coasters, flashing lights, NPCs dancing. Run by an algorithmic carny who knows your darkest secrets. Addictive. Gen Z lives here rent free.
Snapchat, the side alley behind the carnival where teens whisper, vanish, and send coded smoke signals. No one over 25 knows what’s going on.
YouTube, the massive mall connected to a university, a movie studio, and a dojo. You can learn quantum physics, how to start a cult, or just watch raccoons steal cat food.
Retirement Estate
Facebook is the gated community for boomers, PTA moms, and lost millennials. There’s a garage sale every day and endless “10-Year Memory” photo slideshows. Still massive. Still haunted by "reshare if you love Jesus" memes.
The Off Grid Area
Nostr, the mountain compound with solar panels and encrypted radios. No city bylaws. Everyone brought their own tools, and nobody answers to anyone. Ideologically pure, free and still under construction.
Discord, the underground speakeasy network. Private clubs with velvet ropes. Some are wholesome; others are cults. You need an invite and probably a bot.
The Catacombs
4chan, the sewer system where memes are born and moral compasses go to die. Lawless, anonymous, and disturbingly influential. You shouldn’t go, but the city above is shaped by its whispers.
