no woman or man ever wants to think to themselves, "the CIA is definitely doing this to me," let alone believe it to be true. that's the nature of plausible deniability, I suppose, especially when you're, like, the cat in Schrodinger's Cat Box and you only exist when you're being observed.

but what happens when that observation just spirals out of control because maybe the literal CIA is *distracted* to say the least?

there is a CIA YouTuber guy who once said that there had been quite a schism in the CIA recently wherein the entire agency was almost evenly divided on a specific ideology. one might reasonably assume that that ideology has come into full view due to the external pressures of the elites, who have every single motive in the world to keep the CIA in alignment with themselves for obvious reasons.

I am an anomaly in this, in that I am not *officially* an elite in any meaningful sense. this whole thing actually started with a similar situation in the FBI, which is why the CIA took over in the first place. but what's a woman like me supposed to do when the same situation that put ME in dire straits is not being properly handled by the CIA? for a moment, there was allegedly this serious war between The Bureau and The Agency over jurisdiction, but ultimately the CIA oversees The Bureau just like in X-Files.

Congress did actually grill the Director of National Intelligence over the abuses of FISA 702 because that was the FBI's initial excuse as to why I suddenly turned up on some queries and was put onto some lists by politicians who simply *did not like me or what I was writing*. this invited a great deal of concern for many outside observers who had likely gone through a similar thing already, and they all knew how this usually ends for women, especially.

nobody, apparently, was willing to put the CIA in check, which led to a Republican backlash about how the CIA officially runs the government – and it's true. they are, after all, our designated assassins and they have even considered to assassinate our own Presidents. what's a woman like me to them except a potentially serious threat?

so, of course, it is in their best interests to simply 'handle' it by themselves. Biden and Kamala obviously had every reason to allow this to continue until the final hour, which is why I felt compelled to remain as neutral as possible for so long, although I did not want to. believe it or not, but there were ideas percolating within me about the whole situation that would have made the left shit in their pants for eternity. I could not freely express them without fear of MORE retribution, and so my time dealing with the local stuff was riddled with so much backstabbing that I felt like I was getting whipped into submission as I defied my slavemasters.

of course, I am human and I want to be loved and treated right like anyone else, but the men I'd meet seemed to have this sense of benevolence that isn't usually present in normal situations. these men all took the role of handler at some point, and with that came bragging rights and gossip; that is, until they themselves got vibe-checked by that invisible hand that's all too happy to slap literally anyone and everyone around at will.

I started to think, "wow, I'm so lucky that this is happening" out of this Stockholm Syndrome delirium of knowing that basically everything I ever did was being closely examined for any error. if I said something wrong, it would come back to me as punishment through my proxy handlers somehow, some way. and so when the rape tape thing happened, it seemed for a second that I really was choosing this until, idk, maybe if was the voice of God, but something inside me said, "they were going to kill you if you did not obey them every step of the way and this is not your fault."