HODL, great questions. Lots of answers here already but I’ll add mine to the list.

A relationship with Jesus starts with repentance, knowing that you can’t meet Gods perfect standards on your own, and then asking God to forgive you. The Good news is that God already knows you can’t do it on your own and has made atonement for your sins through Jesus’ death and resurrection. When you put your faith in Him, he says you’re forgiven and He sends His spirit to live with you and guide you.

Google “Romans Road to Salvation” and you can see a few verses from the book of Romans that explain this process of coming to faith.

It’s at this point you can start grow in your faith, Christian life and feel strongly about Him like you asked.

If you want to read some from the Bible, I’d suggest starting with the book of John, Romans, and Galatians.

If you want to read a different book explaining Christianity, my go to recommendation is Mere Christianity by CS Lewis.

I’ve been on my Christian walk for 40ish years and I can’t imagine doing it any other way. I pray that you find the answers you’re seeking.