It's a difficult time to be experimenting so props to you for sticking with it!

My suggestion would be to use different wallets for different things. Non-custodial wallets don't integrate easily with nostr clients. For this use I would suggest a custodial wallet. I've been using alby and it just works. Another great option is primal (assuming you want to use their client).

As far as non-custodial wallets go, you're trying the best (easy-ish) options available. If reliability is what you value you most, try phoenix. It's more expensive than mutiny but it works instantly every time.

Keep stacking knowledge and maybe you'll decide that one day hosting your own node is worth it.

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Absolutely agree. I've had great success with Alby on our meet up NOSTR account. Specifically for reliability.

I've been intrigued with Muntiny's efforts toward integration with NOSTR, but don't think its quite there yet.

I am leaning toward operating a LN node in addition to on chain. Just heard it takes a lot more active management, and I don't have a lot of time to spare these days.

when mutiny first came out it was so performant for me and incredibly cheap. I was starting to think the days of running hardware for self custody was over (for plebs). Not sure what happened but the experience fell off.

WRT to operating a node, I don't think channel management is that big of a deal. 4-5 years ago plebs were trying to actively manage to optimize for routing. The reality is that you're not going to make money as an avg node operator but what you can achieve is a great lightning experience. Lately I don't even touch my channels and everything works well for the relatively large monthly payments I make. If you do want an awesome LN experience that just works, run core lightning with clboss and you won't have any issues.

I'm glad you're documenting your experience here!