when i have more money than i need to survive, i have a problem. "oh no, what do i do with it?"

it's easy enough to spend it impulsively. the question is where to throw it to avoid that temptation.

we're talking on the order of €200 per month, so it's not enough for anything exciting. i usually blow it on alcohol because i get bored.

would be nice to spend it on something better, because although alcohol takes my mind off things, it's a very expensive, unhealthy and short-lasting way of doing that.

i resort to it partially because it's a really simple way of entertaining yourself and taking your mind off things. unlike other activities, you never grow bored of it, because the very thing it does is take away the boredom (and all your worries too). it's a guaranteed quick fix, with no effort or creativity required.

it's rather hard for me to find anything else that beats it. but it has so many drawbacks. so i would like something else, and i don't know what.

in terms of experiences one can have, the only thing that's better than getting drunk is being with a woman, and by a wide margin. they're far too much trouble to find though. "find" isn't the right word. you come across one by chance, and if you're lucky, she likes you, so you're not really in control of that.

in a way, i never had any hobbies, not even as a kid. every hobby i ever had was also a potential profession, and i lost interest in each one of them as it became clear that my services would not be needed.

i'm very businesslike in that way. "what are we doing now and for what purpose?"

i didn't do well in school because it didn't get right down to business. an apprenticeship model would've worked better for me. why waste time?