Is there an article or TLDR on why the two Bitcoin bugs (in 2010 and 2013) and how they were fixed are different than the ETH DAO hack and its patch? Specifically, why the Bitcoin patches don’t invalidate Bitcoin’s claim to decentralization, whereas the DAO “fix” does.

I like being prepared for gotchas from shitcoiners and for when newcomers ask about this when I bring up the DAO hack.

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In Bitcoin the bugs were in the protocol, they had to be fixed. in the eth DAO it wasn't a bug in the protocol, was a bug in the smart contract. it's just like wanting to invalidate some Bitcoin blocks because someone sent some Bitcoin to the wrong address

I think one was an inflation bug that they patched and then they all got together and mined a longer chain. That would be impossible to do now.

This link might be useful to you:

https://en.bitcoin.it/wiki/Common_Vulnerabilities_and_Exposures