So far, Nostr is just looking a lot like the early days of the internet protocols, namely TCP/IP, which is a decentralized protocol, but needs support from other services, DNS, DHCP, etc., to make it useful.

I'm seeing the exact same thing in Nostr, in that, it's a 'decentralized' protocol that isn't defining the required scaffolding to make it useful, which inevitably means those will be filled by centralized services. NIP-05 is proving this out. The relay model itself is pretty broken, as the user doesn't own their posts, the relay they send to does.

How is Nostr going to avoid all these pitfalls? Is anyone working on that?

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I am still struggling with following and basic functions in Damus and some basic things. We have gone straight to some high level applications like duplicating twitter while the core infrastructure needs work still.

I'm using https://iris.to right now and it's pretty reliable. https://snort.social is another good web client. I've heard damus is good, though I haven't used it, so it might be worth sticking with for now if you want to be on a mobile app.

I'm still just getting into using it. I've mostly just been reading NIPs and looking at the libraries supporting the protocols. Lots of work to be done to make this a proper decentralized social network.

The relay doesn’t own anything. The post is always owned by the one who knows the private key.