Attempted clipless pedals for the first time. Because I'm a sophisticated adult.

Of course I fell trying to dismount. 90 full degrees of "Fffffuuuuuuuck nnnoooo!"

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Stirrups?

Shimanos?

Opposite of stirrups, I think

Oh the ones that join direct to the shoe?

Yes. The shoes "clip" to the pedals, but they are called clipless for some reason.

Yeah, that's what threw me off

Threw you off too albiet in a whole other way