Monero.com wallet has tor built in. Check you connection settings.
It's private by default. And decentralized. You can spin up a node and mine using gupaxx (not gupax)
https://github.com/Cyrix126/gupaxx
I'm not sure what you are referring to in terms of the unstable comment but unlike bitcoin that is transparent and can just see the balance of the wallet, monero needs to scan transactions since the wallet was created and kinda add them all together to keep it up to date. So sync times might seem longer.
Also after each transaction the coins are locked up for 10 blocks before you can use them again. So again unlike Bitcoin where you want few UTXOs, with monero you kinda want many so that less of the wallet balance is 'locked' for those 10 blocks.
Hope that helps.