Q: How many gradual (sorry, that's supposed to be "graduate") students

does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "I'm afraid we don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my

advisor a $30,000 grant of the taxpayer's money, and I'm sure he

can tell me how to do the gruntwork for him so he can take the

credit for answering this incredibly vital question."