My point is that the relay software needs to improve now rather than later. Fedi can scale better than nostr now, their software is not as IO heavy either. Someone could even run a decent fediverse server on a Raspberry Pi with an SSD.
Discussion
Absolutely, I think those refinements will come in time. AP has had a couple extra years to mature and with a lot more dev assistance. From what I've read, Nostr contributors still need to workout how to properly handle NIPs and a consensus on changes that doesn't break previous implementations. I'm hopeful, but not naive. I know this will take a long time to achieve any level of "overnight success". We'll learn from our mistakes along the way, and hopefully learn from others (AP, ATproto, etc) on what not to do.