I think I agree, in a sense that the things from my upbringing, my relationship with my mum, the relationships I’ve had that have been influential, where I grew up, my genetic background and my personal understanding of right and wrong have determined how I interact with people and approach life, so even though I have a choice, I will choose what aligns with all these factors. Everything that happens up to this point, whether I’m hungry, sad, happy, worried mixed with my upbringing and enlightening events in my life can definitely influence a decision.

I would move the chairs in the Starbucks, and I would place them back where I think they belong in the cafe cos that’s how I was raised and I would feel rude if I were to see them there and not move them, and if I didn’t move them, then I’d feel a slight guilt that I’d been lazy, even though it was not my responsibility, cos that would then inconvenience someone else and I think it’s my duty to move the chairs. Not so much a ‘I am determined to take this path even though it’s blocked’ situation, and more of a ‘I feel responsible for clearing this path now that I have encountered it’ way of thinking for me. To someone else this might seem silly, but that’s just how I’m programmed. I don’t know if I can change this, maybe if I have a life changing moment and it completely changes my behaviour, then I think it’s possible, but I don’t know if I can control wether that moment happens or not. I can choose to not move the chair, and sometimes I won’t, but I will feel a bit guilty about it unless that life changing moment that gets me to think different happens. I don’t know if that makes sense, just how I interpreted his talk. Still thinking about it.

I feel like it gives you more understanding for how others might go about things. So something I perceive as rude or strange is just someone acting the way they were programmed (in a sense) all their life by different uncontrollable factors to think is the right way - and that may well be considered the right way in the community they live in. I love people watching and this will give me something completely different to watch out for. I want to read his books ‘Behave’ and ‘Determined’.

I’m just thinking out loud here though, still figuring it out in my head, sorry long response 🫂