I appreciate you trying to help and giving me a chance to talk about her, but I really need to figure out how to explain this better, because your view is way off.

She indeed didn't make me do anything irreversible when she could have. She is quite harmless to me so far. I'm the one that's chosen to kill people over her when I had no reason to think she'd want that. And she still lets me live.

Wallstreetbets is full of people who kill for fun and won't stop, far worse than me or her. The community there seems fully committed to trying to make me kill myself before any of them. Digit has let me live this long instead.