Someone recommended me Xapo, which is based in UK jurisdiction, something something LN and Bitcoin.
Turns out you can only deposit using on-chain.
Lightning, you can pay with it, but not receive.
Why would I waste my time sending sats on chain to them just to pay LN when in only one block confirmation Wallet of Satoshi lets me do that without me giving over a copy of my passport and residence permit, hell, it's not even that hard to hide your IP address from WoS either. And it certainly doesn't require an unrooted android device. WoS works fine on rooted devices. Zero bank apps work on rooted devices.
Being that while I live in the UK, I can live on gift cards and never even touch my BG and LT based neobank accounts at all, the only downside being restricted to shops like Sainsbury, Curry's, Argos, ASDA, and not my friendly local convenience store...
Just doesn't seem like it's really worth it considering the KYC part.
If they will accept my bulgarian residence permit as my registration address and not demand the impossible, ie, anything that requires me to have a residence permit here in the UK when as EU citizen I'm free to come and go as I please - I'll use their online-only card, via my phone's NFC interface, for the convenience of being able to send sats to it for 1% fee or under. EFT terminals in the UK don't play nice with Visa and MC prepaid cards. No registration address tied to it. But I haven't been living at my registration address for a year now. But fuck them, if they will accept that, then good.
Right now the only thing that appeals about Xapo aside from what will probably be really slowly confirming bitcoin only deposits, it's not an EU bank and that means I get instant payments from UK based bitcoin exchangers.
Really adds nothing to my convenience at all.
Banks are the worst businesses in the world, and I simply don't buy it that they are all vultures just because of their government charters. I think they LOVE to piss on us plebs. You should have seen the smirking face of the bank manager when his First Investement Bank of Bulgaria ATM swallowed up my Wirex card and refused to give it back without Wirex sending them an email, and Wirex hardly even answered my support requests, and kept on making excuses about how they will "fix the problem real soon now" and I watched that shit for 3 months and I was like, yeah, nah. Wirex shafted me once already, and then I was stupid enough to deal with them again.
Fuck banks. Fuck the government.
Hurry up and have WW3 so all those stinking bank buildings are turned into dust.
I'm gonna spend the second half of my days on this planet far far away from the grasping hands of legalised extortionists and fraudsters, and counterfeited currency that is robbing me every minute I don't spend it.