Zeus works fine but you are right,it's annoyingly slow sometimes.

Phoenix got scared operating to a negative place like this USA.

If you feel OK with Muun, use it but will be always an issue when fees are high or if got out of app store other night.

I think for a selfcustodial way, you must give a chance to wallets like mutiny or breez.

Or to go the extra mile and operate your own channels.

Unfortunately the self custodian LN-Wallets are or will be under a kind of attack in the near future.

Probably the best way for you is to use custodial wallets and then to transfer the sats to an self custodial when the amount gets bigger.