Any thick natural oil is sufficient. Using it daily will keep the hair soft and groomable.

One thing I forgot to mention is that you should never allow oil stripping face scrubs to touch your beard. They'll leave hair dry and damaged.

I use face scrub on the upper half of my face as well as my ears and neck, because I have oily skin and even at 38 years old I'm still prone to a little acne from time to time. But I rinse it quickly so it doesn't harm my beard hair.

I actually use a good quality shampoo and conditioner to wash my beard.

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yeah, funny you mention, i've just discovered my hair is in much nicer condition with a lauryl sulphate style thing but with oils added. I'm gonna cook up my own blend including either beef dripping or cacao in small quantities, and maybe a little olive oil to soften those up and make them penetrate well. Alkaline soap is literally damaging to hair, in particular, but it's not that bad, over time it just makes it fray at the ends.

Consider adding johoba oil to that blend. It's great for hair.

yeah, it seems to me the ideal is something with high and low density and not so much in between, a wax, and a light oil, and no middle viscosity. The hard oils give you gloss and stiffness, and the light oils give flexibility. Its surprising how much difference these kinds of things can make.

to be honest the thought occurred to use light oil, like, barely heavier than kerosene, mineral oil.

The fats naturally in skin are great but the composition of those fats depends on what you eat. That's partly why beef and chocolate make you look younger and smoother. They have stearic acid in them, which is a very rigid, glossy fat. I'm not sure what low density oils are suitable. Honestly it seems to me like something that is nearly volatile would work best, just something that adds a little flexibility to the waxes to stop them cracking off the surface of the hairs.

ah yes, i know a combo that might work perfectly. Orange oil and beef dripping. Or cacao butter.

I know that for sure Shea Butter is amazing in soaps for the skin. By the way, you can reduce the complexity of the work of maintenance by using a soap that naturally leaves the perfect residue. Probably, speaking of light oily substances, glycerine isn't a bad thing to have in the mix too, and honey, sugars are very drying though, they clean amazingly but strip the fuck out of fats. Glycerol is a bit more gentle. The sugars also are more prone to changing a lot with the humidity.