I simply dont believe reading some translated text coming from people who believe they are holier than thou will do me any good

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"Christ died to save sinners--of whom I am chief." -- Paul the Apostle

Peter denied Christ 3 times before repenting (and being received)--why leave that story in, if they were "holier than thou"?

If things are as bad as you say (and I'm not questioning that they are) then isn't it worth suspending your disbelief and giving it a shot with an open mind?

Im not sure I will be able to accept the idea that the god who runs the world that we live in is good anymore

His blood, poured out to save his enemies, would suggest otherwise.

Justice will come again, as it did in the days of Noah. The only question is who's in the ark and who is not.