Ahh ok. I ended up reading tailscale's docs about mesh probably while you were typing your post. 😁 I just set up Wireguard (new versions of nix-bitcoin make it easy and declarative), so I definitely understand the difference in latency between it and tor.
Discussion
Man Tor was what made me stop using Lightning. Granted we were in a minimal fee on chain market so it wasn’t that bad. But once I was able to real time just got on my node… Oh baby. Fire was re-lit.