My father developed Alzheimer’s & dementia in his early sixties

not really all that far from where I am now

It killed him slowly

His mind forgot how to direct the most basic motor functions

how to chew, how to swallow

He aspirated on his food, and pneumonia filled his lungs

In the end, he drowned from the inside

The years of caregiving were difficult on my family

I suspect a day may come when I meet a similar fate

when I forget the story of my own life,

when I forget the people I’ve long loved,

when I forget how to walk,

how to shave my face

So maybe

it’s best I savor these moments while they’re mine

To not ever sit behind a desk under artificial lights

But to trade banter with my family, to chase joy and adventures

To do things that matter,

things that make me feel alive

To do it all now

before cognitive decline slowly erases the world in motion around me

And if that day comes

just strap the weight belt on me,

give me a kiss and a smile,

and push me in the pool