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why do i have to keep following people and then it drops off ? I suspect it is something with the relays ?

I think you may be right. How many relays do you have? Are you using multiple clients for Nostr?

4 relays and will use my start9 server to connect another. Running primal, damus and nostermo! Seems to be working now

What relays are you using? I'm having an issue with Primal where only a portion of my private messages are shown, while the whole conversation is visible on Damus. I'm not sure how to resolve this.

using the default relays on damus. Will try to connect more and read about this. never going back to legacy SM.

Thanks. Apparently, I'm not the only one experiencing issues with Primal. Will likely consider using other clients until issues resolve which is unfortunate. I like Primal's UI.

Try some of these

https://nostrapps.com/