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i need to get better at reading people (men) emotionally. i keep getting my feelings caught up in a twist because i can’t tell if they are interested in my heart/mind/soul or just my body/mind until it’s painfully obvious.

i often come off pretty abrasive when i am straightforward about it. any good books or recommendations on this? i know most of yall are men here so this should be fun...

Jay 1y ago

Same but for women lol. The eternal struggle 😂

I'm just spitballing, but it depends on the man and his dominance status among men. I think the scale ranges from net consumer to net producer and from physically weak to strong. When you exert your strengths, how much value can you obtain in return? Net consumer/weak men are probably just looking to hook up or marry a mommy because their lives suck and they can't make a living, but net producer/strong men are probably trying to find a dedicated tradwife because they're financially stable and can support a family.

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Discussion

limitlesslaurel 1y ago

i only go for strong men, lol. quite literally a trad wife already (nannying a big family) i was completely swept off my feet by someone i met abroad, he seemed enamored by me the same way i was for him, but once i left the country he rarely texted. he runs 2 businesses in 2 countries so i was very understanding but now that he caught wind of my return soon he’s texting so much. confronting him about the lack of effort in communication, hes ridiculously nonchalant about it. i’m just confusseeeddd and not sure how to respond at all 🫠

Jay 1y ago

I can only speculate and guess, but I think the main issue is the fact that he knew you were just visiting. It's fun when you're together, but is a long distance different country relationship with someone you just met really worth it? Could he convince you to move? Could he move? The long term prospects just might not be there.

It's also hard to socialize one on one just over the internet. Maybe he builds on the energy your physical presence brings, but when it's gone, there isn't enough to keep that engine running with everything else going on.

limitlesslaurel 1y ago

well, it was made clear i have a plan to move to the country i met him. hence why i’m back so soon.. but i really appreciate this reply. it settled a little internal battle i was experiencing tonight. 🙏🏼🧡🌞 thank you 🫂

Jay 1y ago

No problem. I'm just as much of an overthinker. But I've realized over time that I'm almost never right when the dust settles.

Literally, when I have a conjecture or I expect a certain outcome, I'm always wrong in situations like this. So I just take things as they come now and measure myself by the effort I put in rather than what I get out.