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Saylor announced he wants to turn microstrategy into a Bitcoin bank

It already is.

Does it even do anything nowadays?

Just invests in Bitcoin

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I think his idea is to be a custodian and lend coins to people

Which real bitcoiners would know should crash the price imo

He could "lend" me his Bitcoins any day he wants

“Lend”

Lending your Bitcoins is such a stupid idea.

Yup

But only, if you do it without Multi Sig