It must have a simple solution. In designing the client, the user must have the option to turn the #zap function on and off for any note at the time of writing it. All the functions for that matter.

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Can't. The zap doesn't go to the note. It's just a message that references the note ID. You can't stop people from mentioning your note ID.

Yes, but what if the notes do not show the zap option underneath ?

It is the client that shows a zap sign under the note and links it to the wallet.

Maybe some clients will respect that and others won't. This is an open protocol. If somebody wants to create an event that references your note ID or your npub you can't really stop them from doing so.

Perhaps I don't want to get reactions or reposts for a particular note