still a child here also, never will be old, was only my nerves failing due to some mysterious and now visible mineral deficiencies that was making me weak and cautious, and i suspect this is almost universal (to some extent)

some are lucky to just be in a culture that feeds on good things and this maintains their connection to spirit but it's really big, i mean really big, when you don't have that base chakra right you can't build on top of it, even if you have the apex of teh pyramid in your mind