Well, I can't defy gravity and sun damage forever, but my genes are putting up a good fight.

You have to remember that this is the 25-years-later edition. I'm like half-dead, already, and planning my retirement and talking about grandkids. 😂

But, like I said, simply not totally blimping out, tattooing every blank space, having kids with 5 different men, and running face-first into The Wall at high speed is enough to stay at the top of the list in midlife.

The competition is incredibly weak and eligible women have all gone into hiding. It's a Girl Desert out there.