Read all that, followed well enough even though it's over my head. Am familiar with paralysis. In my case it's mostly a fear of not meeting my own inflated self image when output is there for objective viewing by all. I'm an amazing writer, teacher, debater, etc, in my head, but actually producing anything concrete doesn't happen much, as it often stalls out and falls short of what I had envisioned somewhere along the way. TLDR it's easier to feel smart and not achieve, than to make an effort and face one's shortcomings. This is mostly about myself, but may apply a bit to you. Just some stuff that's been on my own mind lately.

I'm sure you're right on the technical points, but probably go too far on the "world is against you bit," I'm sure you must at least suspect it can't be that way. Sure, it may make a lot of sense to view through that lens, but so does something like "everything can be explained about global banks, if you just accept the British empire is run by alien lizard people" (stealing this example from someone else, they explain this problem as 'high saliency, but low intersubjective confirmation of assumptions'). It's a trap the mind falls into when trying to make meaning or sense of things. The brain is constantly looking to crystallize a pattern for things, but it also needs to confirm from multiple "senses" its premises, lest it fall into such traps. Wish I could do it more justice, but that's what I got for now.

Press forward, do something and get better each iteration, reach the level you know you can inside (I think that. Voice is often right).

🫂