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It is a well known contradiction and I think it really is resolved by simply considering them a cultural community of people without needing to define it rigorously.

https://www.thejc.com/lets-talk/i-am-a-secular-jew-and-theres-no-contradiction-in-that-tyuhoq7w

The secular Jew is accepted by the religious Jews as one of them, because according to the religion you can't quit Judiasm. Once charged by Jehovah, by birthright, you can't weasel out of it. You have a duty, and maybe you are failing in your duty, but you are still charged with it and so you are still a Jew.

From the secular Jew's perspective, however, there is no god, this duty thing is nonsense... but they feel an affinity to this community because they grew up in it, and because all their friends and family are Jews, and because these Jews still accept them unconditionally no matter what they do. It's hard to walk away from unconditional acceptance. So even though they don't believe in it, they stand by that community as their community, and they try to redefine what a Jew is, wishing to consider it just a race, or even making a national Identity in hopes that this resolves the conundrum. All the while the religious Jew just thinks they are confusing themselves.

Fundamentally this is something they will never agree on. But they can work together for their common good of Jews everywhere despite this.

I could be wrong, but this is my understanding.

Sorry if I'm going about this too much, but there is even more to say because this is really quite complex. A big reason for the whole notion of the secular Jew came out of racism.

They didn't call it being "anti-Jew", they called it "antisemitism." Even though technically that is overly broad (muslims are semites too), it was a close enough distinction because the other non-Jewish semites weren't really present in Europe where this was going on.

So if your religious family and friends insist you are still a Jew, and if the Nazis and racists also insist that you are a Jew and you get the downsides of that, what does it matter if you yourself don't believe the religion? In fact, it makes more sense to band together as a team against this hatred and take some of the upsides.

This history didn't happen to Seventh-Day Adventists. But I suppose if people hated me for being SDA, I might feel a closer affinity to the SDA people as we would share the injustice.