only if you're both online at the same time?

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Correct

webrtc would be dope too

agreed, though IP and thus location doxxing

good point, this would be extra bad in a nostr context

running a relay on your phone is also bad for privacy because people can figure out whether your phone is turned on or not. most messengers have the same "feature" though (check mark, double check mark etc).

so the spam will continue.