I'm on here and some Fedi platforms and I agree with you. I know a lot of nostriches don't like the Fedi approach but I liked the servers I was on. They filled a specific niche and felt like "visiting your local pub". When the instance I was on got overrun with people fleeing various walled gardens the atmosphere completely changed. I miss that pub feel.

The way Nostr works makes it harder for people to come in and kick out the pioneers and try to make new rules, but I still fear that a mainstream Nostr wouldn't look like this.