i'm a descendant of refugees and slave culture... you don't have to be in a war to have your life turned upside down by it, even a generation later

my grandfather was a conscientious objector, member of a pacifist religion, he worked in military hospitals instead of as a soldier and that's how he met my grandma, who was the child of a concubine, and of course you can imagine this kind of toxic culture comes to an end and the muslims of indonesia rose up against the dutch and so they ended up in australia... and my parents met due to both of them working a hospital related to said pacifist religion, and the residues of that toxic culture of slavery persisted with my father who got some very strange ideas about how to treat everyone in the house including twisted sexual notions and calculating physical and psychological abuse

all of these things trace back to psychopaths stirring up shit and using violence against people, it's almost primordial to the forces that bring about war