using the same nsec? that's the problem. each app doesn't know what you've done with the other. the relays bounce your "profile " around, but if you're using one app then another the previous doesn't have the same history. new apps arent syncing with previous stuff because it's not aware because you switched it up again. maybe I'm not getting this all correct, but try using one desktop & one mobile app for a minute and see if it settles down.

how many relays are you connecting to?